For Better Or Worse

In Heather M. Little’s Chicago Tribune article “For better or worse, Marriage forecast: Which ones work?” John Gottmann, professor of Psychology at the University of Washington in Seattle, states that marriages in which couples see aspects of the relationship, such as laughter and validation of the courtship, give way to pain and criticism are more prone to divorce. This shift can lead both husband and wife to feel isolation and loneliness bringing about the desire for separation. Gottman suggests that a marriage can be put back on track by adopting three problem-solving behaviors that are characteristic of healthy and happy marriages. These behaviors include:

• Validating your partner
• Finding mutually satisfying solutions to problems as they arise
• Eliminating conflict caused by what may be frequent conflicts or disputes by simply agreeing to disagree.

For more literature from John Gottman, please visit his page on for a listing of his books on building and maintaining a healthy and happy marriage:

John Mordechai Gottman, Ph.D. Amazon Page